Amber Newberry

Author of the Daughters of Rhineholt Gothic YA Series

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Life is too short to spend living by other people’s rules. In a couple of weeks, a string of difficult anniversaries come up, and every year I think about ways to honor people I lost during the hardest period of my life. These anniversaries span months, and for 2 years, I attended so many funerals in such a short period that my mental health wavered, and it was hard to find the will to even get out of bed. I felt guilty for still being, for living, for any moment I forgot my sadness... so I tried to think of what I could do to honor the ones I’d lost while still moving forward. It took me a really long time to come to the conclusion that the best way to honor them would be to not waste anymore time, because we have so little of it. I stopped working jobs I hated, I stopped coming up with reasons not to travel, I stopped trying to achieve goals that didn’t matter to me personally but were considered social norms. Instead, I worked toward things I’d always wanted to do but hesitated starting because they were not in line with what I felt was expected of me: buy a house, have kids, hold down a job you don’t love... I did try following the corporate career path for a while, but between severe anxiety and just generally feeling miserable, I finally put a nail in that coffin and decided it was time to be my own boss. I started to realize that what I valued over things was experience. I’d rather go somewhere exciting than buy a newer tv/furniture/car- Of course, over time I’ve found other ways to remember the people who are gone: by donating to leukemia research, supporting the children of friends who died young, and remembering things I learned from them and thanking them for teaching me in the time we were together. But when I think, “what would they want me to do if they were here?” I know the simple answer is “do what makes me happy while am here to do it” because that’s what I’d want for all of you if I wasn’t here. So, I’m telling you now, don’t waste what little time you have. Do the things that matter to you and forget everyone else’s rules. In the end, I want my thoughts to be, “my life was well-lived.” 🖤

Having a heck of a time trying to keep myself on track in all of the fall prep, but at least @skeletoncloset13 has me looking fabulous through it all.

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Unless Otherwise Indicated, All Contents Copyright 2012 Amber Newberry. All Rights Reserved.

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